So near yet so far

Arrived early in the pub to find Uncle Chick on his second beer of the day ( 9 a.m.) which was obviously followed by about three double vodkas and the subsequent ramblings.

He had £290 in £1 coins saved for me , which I am sure he digs up from the garden following some bank robbery or such like in the past . He was buying some nice wee baby clothes for his grandchild and did some fancy footwork to get the better of !!! Mike our coloured clothes retailer.

The boys arrived in drips and drabs, Brian with Glen - no problems there as Glen is quiet till the others arrive. George was in , and he and a secret but would not tell anyone, which obviously caused great consternation as they all need to be in the know - so if all else fails they just make it up anyway. Sami was in wind up mode - big time- as was Ian @ Toomi who was winding me up. Mr Murphy, Keith, Davy, Peas, etc -

Cooky and Sam were off to York for a couple of days, despite the fact that Sam was supposed to cover for me tomorrow to go to the RA, however, Little Princess came to the aid of the party , mainly because she wanted to change shifts so all is resolved. So it the ever reliable Elaine who is working tonight to earn pennies to keep her little car on the road

Has a few strangers in the bar, which was nice, especially when they seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Kristen was in with Colin and Lewis the wee one - her hamster died last night, probably with shock from the psycho cat - but she had a new baby hamster, which ws a bit quick and jumpy when i took it out the box, it landed on Brian who hates wee animals , he was jumping about and the poor thing did its first freefall to the deck before I recaptured it.

Tam the man arrived , with serious apologies after a bug at the weekend, but he will cover for me, this my last weekend at Musselburgh.

Me - latterly , seriously stressed as they were all competing to see who could order first and get a drink without waiting a second longer than necessary.

Time to go and get on with some more work

Back at Musselburgh on Tuesday but a big meeting at RA , Bonnyrigg in the evening.

All the fun in the bar

Cold and sharp Sunday, with Brian doing his best to frighten away potential customers from outside the pub. Things got a bit busier and later the Penicuik team, of licensed hooligans arrived after the races. Nice to see them as they all joined in on the karaoke, James @ Bullitt Martin : Derek Wilson; David @ Tubby Lochran ' all friends of both Graham and I.

The girls did their bit with Michele and Julie donning their easter bunnets - last time I saw two hats like that they were stuck on the heads of donkeys on Blackpool beach.

Easter Sunday - not on holiday

ad a seriously rough night, went to bed early but woke up at 12.45 a.m. feeling ill so i went downstairs , got onto the computer and phone, etc., for a while before going to sleep in the chair. about 4.45 a.m. eventually went back to bed feeling a bit better.
Came down to the pub for 11 a.m. to get sorted before the racing crowd came in, joined by Big Michelle who had offered to help despite having left last week, and then by Wee Karen , just back from the kirk - she is having to make up her attendances before she and Derrick get married in June.
Had both Chick and Paul in cleaning - but despite this I still ended up doing things myself!!! Chaickwas wandering about in a "T"shirt and said that it was not cold, he had doubtless been at the anti freeze !! again. Anyway he is currently munching his way through the sandwiches.
A few hardy bodies arrived before the races, freezing as it is still perishing outside, and then our regulars came in to see the football and get their Sunday sandwiches. Man U v Liverpool; Celtic v Gretna and Arsenal v Chelsea.
Next door pub failed to open on time as the owner was either late or missing, Chris was planning to break down the door so he could get in to open up.

Kristen dropped in for a chat before she takes over, she had been ill yesterday after a bad kebab from a local take away., but is getting all sorted out and excited at the prospect of taking over.

I will need some more photos for later.

Freezing saturday and the gang

Hi,

Not sure what order these photos will come out , however for those who like the pictures herea are four more.

We have two of the likely lads, Rob, without hat, and Danny , who looks like one of the chaps in "last of the Summer wine" They were in at lunchtime when Chick appeared with this garland which was draped around their necks, unfortunately I could not get a picture of old Ian as I was busy. Rob wanted to bribe me not to show the photo, Danny could not give a toss - he lost his hat last week but found it in the gutter two days later so after a wash it is good as new. Ian has discoved a new game in the morning called - "give me any nice malt, double please", so we are emptying the bottles on the top shelf to our mutual pleasure, today it was " a 10 year old Mallan,.

Michelle C. whose driving instructor failed to appear might well consider buying this little beauty of a car, about 20 year old , I think a Trabrant make - would do her nicely - NOT - being a bit flash I think poor Sandy or her dad George, whose birthday we missed,will need to get her a wee sports car.

The Town Hall opposite the pub was built around 1590, a bit of a fortress - so for those who want to research, look up Musselburgh town Hall and Old Tollboth. Musselburgh itself was named after the mussel beds which were in the shallow waters around the mouth of the River Esk.

Pretty steady today with all the team there, doing their best to stress me out and wait for me to have a heart attack - it is OK for them to piss me off but when I get annoyed and react they are not amused !! One customer said I was serving him too slow, I said that I did not give a toss - so he was not amused - come back Robbie your customer relations were excellent.

Graham is having a wee sojourn in Jacksonville waiting for Andrea who is snowed in, in Chicago - but he has teamed up with Irish and Welsh chappies - not a good combination .

Peas was delighed with his phot of " young pub" so thanks to grant @ photogenix for sorting me out and letting me know how dinkle I was for not being able to do it myself. It was simple - I have a totty wee card in my camera which transfers into the phone.

Last night - usual battles starting at "The Stand", spilling out onto the street with the Police having to attend once again. Stand today managed to stock up with his usual one keg from Dial a Keg or whoever- but that does not matter , it is us who are penalised.

Ok - feet up time again, busy day Sunday with the races on, and of course Santanda will rake in the revenue showing "Celtic v Gretna" live - whilst Rangers v Hibs was apparantly not worth screening today.

Lateral thinking - someone knicked the easter egg which Chick gave to Kristen for her wee boy Lewis - pity it was not a laxitive.

Night night

A bit mysterious

Hi,
needed a photo to brighten up the entry so you have Big Karen, Kerrin, and Big Michelle taken at the Licensed trade ball in November. This was earlier in the evening before the ravages of the day and "John barleycorn" took effect.

Now a trifle shattered after my days activities and when I logged on I found a comment, but on trying to open it all sorts of warnings were flashed up about viruses, etc, so now I have no idea what has happened - apart from fact that I switched it off without opening it.

However, Musselburgh today - I was kept busy with a steady stream of customers, all complaining about the cold, with the odd hail shower or flurry of snow, but not as bad as it was at Penicuik.

Uncle Chick appeared this morning after me and took over the cleaning job, despite the fact that his back was still sore, which obviously required the subsequent internal Vodka rub !!. Cookie still has not decided if he is going home after his tour oif Europe or coming back to Musselburgh.

We were graced with the presence of Kristen, Colin, big Karen and wee Michelle who eventuallly discovered that I had brought in a bottle of Kola Cube !! -

Colin reckoned that Kristen was talking a load of rubbish so he will end up sleeping with psycho cat and hamster tonight - Karen has to stick to half pints of lager shandy or she will be tagged and not allowed out, while Michelle had escaped for more than her prescribed half hour. She said that her driving instructor had failed to appear, obviuously the guy had got wind of what he was in for.

This reminded me of the day I was teaching my sister to drive, years ago, and we were on the old runway at East Fortune, doing some reversing - she is backing the car along the runway and said " there is a plane coming into land", I thought she was joking, but no, there was alight aircraft heading straight for us, so it was into 1st gear and off at the toot - a near thing.

Big Gorge and Davy Caldwell were unimpressed by the fact that there were females in the bar, so God knows how they will cope when Kirsten is in charge, she will make them wash their hands and comb their hair - and not allow the breaking of wind which is obviously not good for the ozone layer. This was one thing that smoking in the bars did disguise, now I have to spray the culprit, if traced, with either deoderant or the nearest spray, eco friendly or not.

TIP of The Day came from Ian Ross, who, during the conversation on how to dispose of ones wife reminded the boys that if you used an oil drum or sulu bin to bury her in , under the back garden, top it off with some asphalt as this hides the smell of decomposition!!!

Technocratic Rob was in ( Oh Lordy Lordy) morified that his name had appeared on the web - I am sure he is secretly pleased and will make sure his friends in Greece try to log in .

Chick managed to do a deal on chocolate easter eggs, so Ann, as I speak is enjoying his treat to her - as a result I had to go buy some flowers on the way home at Costco, where at the check out the lady in front of me tried to present a card which had been reported as lost of stolen!! - i did not have time to wait about to see if she did a runner as my dinner was burning.

Ann's friend, Irish Christine appeared, in some lovely green co-ordinates, just like a little Leprecaurn, told us a couple of tales which she forbid me to tell , in case the Priest found out and gave her even more "Hail Mary's" for misbehaving. She was saying that her daughter Carly is going for residency in Oz, with all the associated procedures, whilst here we seem to have an open door policy which allows, the great unwashed, criminals, refugees, etc, open access , plus we have all the criminals others do not want shipped over here, but unfortunately we cannot dispose of them - perhaps an aeroplane with an ejector seat or trap door in the "loo" might be the answer.
Billy Connolly did a sketch on one of shows about a "jobby wheeker" on a plane, transpose human waste for human scumbags and the idea is sound.

Where are we at - Sparky is now en route for Peru to sort out the Inca Trail, Graham , Andrea and friends are congregating in Jacksonville for the wedding. Sir Christopher is strugging in at The Mercat due to staff " in absentia", the Sportsmans is getting busy with "Little Princess" , Elaine and Simon coping with karaoke Ann and the gang. Rob and Caitlin are taking in the last rays of the Oz summer - and us, we have snow, sleet and snow for Easter - just think , Jesus or whoever would have struggled to get the stone over the entrance if there had been a foot of snow . AND in the interim these corporate thieving buggers in banking. For me the worst thing they did was to seal off our disused collieries, I would have dropped them down the 3000 foot shaft at Bilston Glen.

Now on a BlossomHill 2005 Reserve Merlot, needing to get my feet up before tomorrow when it all starts again - and again on Sunday

Out of sight but not out of mind

Just a reminder that although now living back in the USA we have regular contact with Andrea. She sent a wee Easter card along with a photo of Bobby, one of her pupils. This is not Bobby in the picture, its Mr huff and Puff @ Graham, in case some have forgotton what he looks like.

Anyway he is away for a few days to escort Andrea to a wedding in Jacksonville, USA, so that means that Sir Christopher is left in command in Edinburgh.

Heading off shortly to Musselburgh to get on with things in case Uncle Chick is still under the weather (or influence). easter weekend and all these folks going off to cause traffic jams, sit about in airports, whilst some folks just have to grin and bear it and get on with the job in hand BUT it all comes to those who wait ( but try telling the impatient Mrs. B. that !!!).

Have to go and collect a letter at the post office - someone sent one to me but put no stamp on it , so if i have to pay £1.71p excess for junk mail, there will be a yet another rumpus.

The two monkeys - a story

A few days ago I was sitting with a friend and out of the blue he started to tell me about his life in the army. At one point of his career he was based in the middle east where in his camp the regiment adopted and reared two baby chimps. the chimps apparantly had a good life, were well looked after, however the boys tried to include them in their activities !! so being para's they taught the chips to parachute by taking them to the top board of the diving tower, putting small parachutes on their backs and dropping them to the pool below. Obviously the chimps were not amused but they swam to the side where they were recovered.
This eventually led to them being smuggled on board a Herculese transporter plane, without the RAF knowing, and as the Para's jumped the chimps were taklen out with them complete with their own parachutes. My friend said that he could hear the chimps squealing all the way down, where they did land safely and without injury, however the soldiers were lying on the ground in hysterics and the chimps, being angry, were running about biting them - all ended well.

Next part of the tale, was literally monkey roullette. The troops had in their billett an overhead fan to keep them cool so they would all get round a table under the fan - put £5 each in the pot and then turn on the fan. They then flung a monkey up who caught the blades of the fan and was spun round - next move was to turn up the speed of the fan so that the chimp was going round faster and faster, squealing, etc, untill it reached the point where it could not hang on and was flung off. When it was flung off it would invariably land on one of the troops, and being rather unhappy with the proceedings would bite whoever it landed upon. If the soldier reacted and fell off his seat or jumped away he was eliminated from the game - which continued until only one person remained who won the Pot.
My friend did say that the chimps were generally good natured and most of the time enjoyed their contact with the troops who genuinely did care for them.