Welcome to NCP Morrison Street

We at NCP are currently doing our best to ensure that visitors to this City of Culture do not have a memorable time here.

Unlike other car parks throughout the city which have enrolled into the secure Car Parks Scheme monitored by the local police we like to think that our clients will find themselves vulnerable at night, by failing to maintain the floodlights, and
giving only a token supervsion by staff - whose primary objective is to issue parking tickets.

We really have no interest in the security of vehicles, so in the event of a break in - please do not annoy our staff.

Our landscape artists have done their best to design the Welcome Board and the landscape to blend with the stunning architecture of this city, the rubbish laying around has been there since Victorian times, and we have imported old washing machines and pallets to compete with some of the exhibits in the Gallery of Modern Art in the nearby Telford Road.

To make the visitors to the adjacent Premier Inn feel at home it is our policy to leave as much discarded litter in the bushes opposite the hotel - why should we emulate the City Council by sending staff out to uplift this litter. For the nature lovers around, the rubbish attracts city foxes and an assortment of vermin - we would welcome anyone who wishes to set up a hide - provided they pay parking dues.

The surface of the car park park has intentionally been left in a natural state, rutted , potholes, etc, ideal for those who use the famous "Chelsea Tractors" ATV vehicles, however for the poor punter, it is a bit of a challenge driving through deep puddles, ruts, and rubbish. The changing weather conditions make for flooding in heavy rain , so ruined shoes and clothing are always something for us to chuckle about. This year was really good as very deep water made for some fun and games, with canoes and life jackets being the order of the day. Currently, the icy conditions have allowed our visitors to have a free skating sessions rather than use the purpose built ice rink in the Prince's Street Gardens, and we would certainly never consider putting salt down on the approaches as this is a drain on our financial resources - and would mean that our staff would have to work for living.

Unlike the City of Edinburgh Council who permit free parking on a Sunday , our policy is to send in two operatives early on a Sunday to issue tickets to those who have chanced their luck (tough).

Our operatives are instructed not to liaise with the public , this way we can issue penalty tickets, even to those who have already paid, this ensures that our customer services section can be as awkward as possible when dealing with stupid complaints. So far we have an excellent record in this field of non public relations.

In view of the existing economic climate ( so called credit crunch) we have raised the price of our fixed penalty tickets , our management and shareholders thought bthat a 100% increase was very realistic.

Missing you already !!! Not.