Friends / pals/ mates / just what and who ?

If you are not into serious debate and conjecture, give this blog a miss. Stuart @ PC

Not sure how this has managed to manifest itself to this point of writing, but the subject of friendship has been bugging me for some time.
A couple of days ago, in The Mercat Bar , Lawrence, one of my readers said that he felt I was letting off steam and expressing myself in the blogs. So I now find myself raising what might be a strange issue, and you might wonder why I am doing so.
Friendship - what does it mean ?
A few years ago I watched a series on the TV about so called Debutant's, and one had a party for her 400 nearest “friends” - and many years ago as a very young (19 yrs old) policeman, standing in a shop doorway in Loanhead, middle of the night with Ronnie Cochrane, he told me that that would never have friends in the Police Force, only acquaintances !! And I think, that to this day that it is one of the most accurate statements I have ever heard in life
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Now, I am here to be contradicted, challenged etc. but just what is friendship and who are friends.
Is a family member a friend ? Bearing in mind the saying that you can choose your friends but not your family - for me I have not seen or spoken to my sister for the past 14 years, and from what I hear from others this is not uncommon.
So, what is a friend ? Is it someone you just get to know though your work, a business clique, over a bar counter, or what ? And just what does it mean - to anyone - OK. I have friends in the Lodge, Chapter, etc, but where are the blokes I worked with - 14 years and not even a reunion dinner? Despite regular contact on the phone.
Is friendship a one way thing ? How is it affected by other relationships? My only ever declared friendship (apart from my wife and son) was with one of my brother’s in law, John, but when his wife and her sister in law stopped talking, so did he !! How were he and I affected by the respective pressures of the two wives ?
And in this case we had two who were so close and who now really could benefit from each others support.,
I have now to look at friendship and loyalty as two different issues - very much so, when we consider to the extreme, soldiers or others being tortured to disclose personal / national details, etc,
For me , personally , just what degree is friendship, someone I spoke to to yesterday - Question ? Why do we send x-mas cards to people we have not seen or spoken to for years?
Is someone a friend because I did them a favour - are they friends through obligation? And therefore what is an obligation - in this day and age , honour and the precepts of yore no longer exist.
Q. For me , I can possibly identify those who may be the one or two closest friends of my son - but for me, I supposed the proof will be in the numbers who turn up at my funeral !!!!!!!!!!!!! But although I can arrange the event I will not be there to monitor and welcome the atendees.